roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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What are we then hypocrites?

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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GONNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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