Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Frenchman stays and fights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops