Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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what time is it? 3:16

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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hey bill!

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What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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