A guy has cancer. He dies.

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

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A young man spent his summer as an intern at a school. He eventually became a real estate agent but it was a pretty cool experience.

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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Have you seen the movie "Constipation?" No. It hasn't come out yet! Of course there is no such movie in production and no plans for such a movie exist.

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Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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A black teenage girl wants to get a job, unfortunately she is chained to a fence, beaten, and called a dog.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Stop being a centipede

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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Whas the difference between a boy going to a camp and a jewish boy going to camp? The jewish boys does not come back.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops