Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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What would Guy and Hemech's reactions be if they saw this joke up? They would see it from the newest jokes

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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yo momma so fat that she's fat

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Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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