A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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Proof reading

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Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

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Why did the old man fall off a bicycle? He had a fridge thrown at him.

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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how do kill a black guy? shoot him in the face

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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What the difference between a alien and you nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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Justin Beiber

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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