What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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miley cyrus

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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Why did the baby die? I killed it.

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no

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A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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knock knock who's there police

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JEWS

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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