What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

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24

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops