There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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