Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops