Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

What long black and tasty? Licorice

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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