If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Everyone was standing in a bank happily Three muslims walk in Everyone continues their everyday lives coz we live in a non racist society and nothing could go wrong Then the building blew up

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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