What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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Pineapple.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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