Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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