A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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KONY 2012

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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