Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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