Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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cats are pussies

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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69

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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