Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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A seal walks into a club.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops