Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

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why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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