Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's red, blue & green all over?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the answer to all your problems The answer

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Honk if you're Amish!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops