Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

K

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

thumb_up thumb_down -28

THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

010010101210001010 You dirty girl

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops