Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

McDonald. It's run by Lawers

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

thumb_up thumb_down -25

69

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

DEATH.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops