Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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