What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

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You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

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like most people my age. im 27

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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