A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

thumb_up thumb_down -31

yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

thumb_up thumb_down -31

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

thumb_up thumb_down -33

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock Knock! Come in..

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

thumb_up thumb_down -33

PEANIS!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops