Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Lets Go Lakers!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

thumb_up thumb_down +17

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Butt poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops