When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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Misner is a twat.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

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Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

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Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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