What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops