what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

run farther?

A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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