- Anti Joke

Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

If you like this, it will have one extra like

why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

good one jess !!

What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

In the land of cheerios, there are three social classes. The bottom class consists of the regular cheerios, the middle class consists of the honey nut cheerios, and the top class consists of the frosted cheerios. One day, Mr. Cheerio was disappointed with his life in the bottom social class. He thought to himself, "Gosh, I bet life would be much better if I were a honey nut cheerio!" So he goes to the mighty cheerio king and says "Oh great cheerio king, what must i do for thee that thou might make me a honey nut cheerio?" The great cheerio king then says to him "I shall make thee a honey nut cheerio if thou wilt go to all the neighboring lands and bring me back 100 different kinds of vegetables!". Mr. Cheerio accepts the quest and travels for many months and years through all of the neighboring lands and finally collects the vegetables. He returns to the cheerio king and he honors the bargain my making him a honey nut cheerio. Mr. Cheerio is very happy with his new life. Due to his higher rank in society, he is able to find a wonderful job, marry a wonderful woman and have a few wonderful kids. One day, Mr. Cheerio thinks to himself, "I wonder what my life would be like if my family and I were all frosted cheerios. I could provide more for my family, and we would have a much fancier way of life!". He returns to the cheerio king and says "Oh great cheerio king, what must I do for thee that thou might make my family and I frosted cheerios?". The king then states "I will make thee frosted cheerios if thou wilt go to all the neighboring lands and bring me back 100 different kinds of fruits." Mr. Cheerio accepts this new quest. He departs from his family and travels for many months and years through all the neighboring lands until he finds all the fruits he needs. He returns to the cheerio king and he honors the deal by making Mr. Cheerio's family frosted cheerios. The life of the frosted cheerios is incredible. It is everything that the Cheerio family could have ever wanted. There are new opportunities around every corner. One day, a friend of Mr. Cheerio invites him to a dinner party that all of the frosted cheerios will be attending. Mr. Cheerio and his wife are talking to their friends at the party, when Mrs. Cheerio says to Mr. Cheerio, "Hey, honey, I'm getting a little thirsty. Could you go get me some punch?". Mr. Cheerio finds a very long line and stands in it. Once he gets to the front, however, he discovers that it is the line for steak, not punch. He repeats this process with half a dozen other lines, but he cannot find the line for punch. He returns to his wife and says, "Honey, there's something wrong with this joke. There's no punch line."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

your moms my other ride

Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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