I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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Breast cancer.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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baby seal walks into a club

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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rishi is gay (coventry england)

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Why did Edna fall off a cliff? Edna is blind, and so lacks the visual perception and spatial awareness of other hillwalkers.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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knock knock who's there no one

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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