What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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women's rights

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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s e m e n

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What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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