What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Once upon a time, there was a man. He was black. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What does Harry Potter love? Magic

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than accidentally biting your tongue? Hitler accidentally biting your tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

guess what no i know what your thinking, its NOT chickenbutt. its that tomorrow i have a math test. that sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. Your mom is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops