How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

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Lets go Yankees

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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