You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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Why was Soren gay? Because he likes to eat men's Penises!

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Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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Fiats

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops