Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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knock knock!! kanye west

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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why do you care?

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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