what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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Leave her alone...

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

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Pickles

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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