Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What is worse than 20 black men stealing your TV? Having your family die in tragic car accident.

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

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2 women were sitting quietly

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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