The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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*insert joke here*

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wanna hear a joke. i do to

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

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A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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Wade

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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