Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I had sex. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops