why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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who hooks up with grade 7's? •Jake Muchnik

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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