what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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