when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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