How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

a irish man walks past a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats two plus two Four!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I asked her where you were.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops