how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Jacob Edwards has friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops