A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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Why can't february march Because april may

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops