I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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The Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars His dad says " 40 dollars? what do you need 30 dollars for? "

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops