Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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