how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops