Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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